People So Dearly Loved By God,

Much has been made in recent years about the effect that “should” plays in our psychological lives. Whether in casual settings or in graduate studies, I have come across many examples of how living with an over-emphasis on things we feel we “should” do or “should” avoid can lead us into frustration, feeling stuck, anger, and potentially serious mental challenges. For example, many times I heard the legendary Wellesley area mechanic, Larry Ng, tell distraught customers needing expensive repairs that they “should have bought a Honda.” Or if one is ruled by a belief that “grown children should always be there to help their parents,” one may be overwhelmed by grief if they feel they have let their parents down in some way.

We live with many “shoulds” some of which we interpret from implicit messages in childhood and others we are told through explicit cultural norms or family values. As a Boy Scout I learned a lot of my “shoulds” when memorizing the Scout Oath and Scout Law. They are full of positive values, but whenever I fail to exemplify them I experience extra regret as the “should” rears up in my mind.

I tell you this to make it very clear that I am cautious in using the phrase “should” with my children, wife, clients, and you. I don’t want to add a burden to you unintentionally, or tip you over the edge into despair because I felt you “should” have seen the finale of American Idol.

So please receive this with my deepest love and care for you and for our church in mind:

This Sunday is Milestone Sunday at Highrock MetroWest, and you should be there.

You should be there to give and receive blessings as we celebrate the many young people who are marking significant moments in their lives of faith, or milestones, like confirmation and baptism.

You should be there because Pastor Robert has some exceptional musical worship lined up.

You should be there because Pastor Michael and Grace Taber will be leading some very special community moments.

You should be there because we have a party planned and you need some fun and joy in your life!

If you can’t make it, I understand. No guilt, no shame. We’ll just miss you, that’s all.

But, I really hope you can make it, because it should be an unforgettable Sunday!

See you soon I hope,
~Pastor Ryan